Site Name

Hope for the woman uprooted by a move or other life change

Facebook Twitter Instagram

Get Weekly Encouragement

  • Home
  • About us
    • Encouragement for the Woman Uprooted by a Move
    • New at Just Moved
  • After the Boxes Study
    • Online Study Groups
    • Find an After the Boxes Group
    • Learn more about offering the study
    • Free study for your military chapel
    • After the Boxes Are Unpacked Study Leaders
  • Blog
  • Podcast
  • Donate
    • Donate to Just Moved through your online shopping
    • Donate in memory or in honor of an individual
    • Volunteer
  • Shop
  • Contact
    • Staff
    • Submissions to JustMoved.org
    • Just Moved mailbox
    • May we pray for you?
Empty Nest, Empty Heart

September 1, 2017

Empty Nest, Empty Heart

empty nest

Learning to let go one more time

“It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.
You would cry too if it happened to you.”
(A popular song from the 60s by Lesley Gore)

You thought you were ready for this, but you never expected it to be so hard, or that you would cry so much.

You fought back the tears as you hugged tightly, secretly never wanting to let go, trying to be strong, even brave at this momentous moment. The words swelled up in your heart. There was so much you wanted to say,

“Don’t forget to call or text me.
Get enough sleep.
Eat healthy.
Don’t stay out too late.
Choose your friends wisely.
Remember to wash your clothes once a week.
And oh, please be careful-it’s a crazy world out there.”

But you didn’t, at least right now you didn’t. You’ve said it all a hundred times before this day.

You simply whispered, “I love you.”

You were trying hard to act like a grown-up mom to this growing-up child, who was growing-up too fast, too soon. The voice in your head said, “Wasn’t it just yesterday that I rocked you to sleep and held your hand as you took your first step? Now you are taking your first step into college.” You hear this growing-up child that you cheered on in life, now trying to cheer you. “I’ll be fine mom…don’t worry….”

All the way home, you cry uncontrollably, mascara running down your face, snot pouring out your nose. This is not the time to hold back. Let it come. You reach for a sleeve, an arm, a Kleenex – anything to stop the dam that broke. You just left behind your baby – your firstborn, your middle child, or your youngest. It doesn’t matter which one, it still hurts. It’s cutting another umbilical cord, it’s letting go of a part of who you are. It’s facing an empty, clean room with the bed made, no shoes or clothes scattered everywhere, and posters still hanging on the wall. Oh, how you yearn to see that room messy just one more time to have glimpses of life there.

In case you are wondering, I was the “YOU” years ago when I experienced the emotional transition and unexpected adjustment of sending off our oldest, and then our youngest, to college. My head knew all the right things – we raised them for a time such as this. We gave them roots in family and in Christ and wings of confidence to soar and become all they could be. We knew it was time for them to become independent and begin to figure out life on their own. We knew one season of life had ended and another season was about to begin. That being said, it was not easy to emotionally let go or to stop crying for weeks as I grieved the loss of their daily presence in our family circle.

I couldn’t seem to get a grip as I struggled with the emptiness that seemed to consume me. I particularly remember one time when I was laying face-down in our hammock, crying so hard my tears went through the hammock and on the patio. It was one of those messy-slobbery-ugly-cries. I missed tripping over the sports shoes that were always taken off at the bottom of our stairs after school. My refrigerator seemed empty. The house was too quiet. I missed the laughter, chatter, and even the music that had a good beat.

The sadness in my empty heart was eventually filled with happiness and peace as I began to see our growing-up children begin to thrive on their own. I had done my part as a mom, now it was time to leave them in God’s hands and ask Him to protect, guide, and equip them in their new journey. I needed to move forward with faith and trust, knowing God would always be with them. You do have to come full circle with all of this and, at some point, realize that it’s not all about you, it’s about them. You are then taking your first step in letting go.

Remember these things:

  • You will always be their mama and they will always need you.
  • You did a good job raising them. Don’t second guess that.
  • Say often to them, “I believe in you. You can do this.”
  • Let them manage their own lives and figure it out.
  • They will make mistakes and they will learn from them. Don’t short-circuit that.
  • Let them know, no matter what happens, you will be there for them.
  • Pray for them every day.

And, be assured they will come home again – with a suitcase full of dirty clothes, ready to eat a home-cooked meal!

I have dedicated him to the Lord; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the Lord.  I Samuel 1:28

From My Heart to Yours,
Susan

facebook Share on Facebook
Twitter Tweet
Follow Follow us
custom Share
custom Share
custom Share
custom Share
custom Share

Article by Just Moved Ministry / Blog, Change, Empty nest / empty nest, encouragement, grief, memories 4 Comments

Comments

  1. Nazreen Farooq says

    July 13, 2018 at 2:55 am

    The tears just poured down.
    Thank you Susan

    Reply
  2. Cindy Crocker says

    September 5, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    Susan I love this!! Even though my kids are past being in college I miss them so much and I struggle with being too aggressive with texting or calling them. I’m glad to read this! I know they love me and I know they will “come home”…. I love you Susan!

    Reply
  3. Jenn says

    September 5, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    The wise words, the calming of God and my Faith only can come from you, Mama Miller! I will forever be grateful to have been blessed with another mother to cry to, to come to and to hear advice from! Once again, you served my heart and my head!
    I love you!
    ~Jenn

    Reply
  4. Tish says

    September 5, 2017 at 3:48 pm

    Beautiful as usual my friend.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Powered by Ajaxy

Recent blogs by Susan Miller

2020: A Year of Intermission 1/2/21
What Does It Take to Finish Well? 12/1/20
Be Kind to the People in Line 11/1/20
Pitch, Keep, or Give Away 10/1/20
Wrestling With God 9/1/20
Feeling Lonely? You are Not Alone 8/1/20
When You Come to the End of Your Rope 7/1/20
A Bridge of Connection 6/1/20
The Emotional Pandemic You Face 5/7/20
What to do when you are on lockdown 4/2/20

Recent podcasts

Running on Empty 1/11/21
Gifts Without Ribbons 12/1/20
Facing the Challenge of Change 11/1/20
Are you weary and worn out? 10/1/20
Tips from an expert to calm your anxious child. Interview with Sandi Rae 9/1/20
Protecting Your Marriage in Stressful Times. Interview with Dr. Doug Kelley 6/2/20
5 Ways to Thrive During the Quarantine. Interview with Stephanie Pletka 5/2/20
In God's Waiting Room 4/9/20
When Life Doesn't Go As Planned - Interview with Tracy Steel 3/9/20
7 Gift Ideas for Marriage 2/8/20
Start the New Year with a Clean Plate 1/8/20
A Flashlight, a Candle, and a Lamp Post 12/9/19
Tips for Handling the Holidays 11/4/19
Rekindle the Romance in Your Marriage 10/9/19
Move to a Place of Perseverence 9/4/19
Subscribe to Susan Miller's blog and podcast

Subscribe to Podcast only

Apple PodcastsGoogle PodcastsAndroidby EmailRSSMore Subscribe Options
Facebook TwitterInstagram
Just Moved Ministry
8010 E Morgan Trail, #7 Scottsdale, AZ 85258
(480) 991-5268
Powered by Ajaxy
“Professional
Copyright © Just Moved Ministry .
All rights reserved.