Unsettled and out of place in my new home

by Jesse Prentiss

Decorating for the first Christmas in my new house after moving from Ohio to Texas started out exciting as we determined where we should put the tree and hung the stockings on the new fireplace mantel. I sang along to “Deck the Halls” as I unpacked décor boxes like a giddy kid on Christmas morning.

Frustration began to unwrap as I discovered broken ornaments, realized I didn’t own enough matching garland for the staircase, and assessed that snowshoes and sleds looked out of place on my Texas front porch when its 60⁰ and sunny.

Finding a new home for all my decorations just emphasized I still didn’t feel settled and highlighted how out of place I felt.

So many of my Christmas traditions were tied to my geography, to the ice, snow and cold. To top it all off, real Christmas trees cost a small fortune here. I’ve always had a real tree, but it goes way deeper than that. My elementary school best friend’s dad was a Christmas tree farmer, and I grew up playing in trees purposed for Christmas. We sawed trees down ourselves out of the snowy woods, all bundled up and catching snowflakes on our tongues.

I have vivid childhood memories of being lifted by my dad to put the angel on the top of the tree; I can still smell the pine sap and feel the needles poke at me. If I haven’t inserted enough dramatic emphasis, my husband and I gave pine trees as wedding favors!

Getting a fake tree felt like an exchange for my soul.

Now I was feeling unsettled, out of place, and, to top it off, a loss of identity. Bah. Humbug!

But just as Scrooge had to resolve his past and present in order to secure a better outcome for the future, I turned to God in prayer to regain true Christmas spirit.

As I found a new location for my nativity scene and placed baby Jesus in his manager I was reminded of the biggest move in history. Jesus moved into human form and took up residence with us. “So the Word (Jesus) became human and lived here on earth among us” (John 1:14). Talk about feeling unsettled, out of place and a loss of identity!

I felt a sense of peace just realizing Jesus could relate.

He submitted to God’s will, moved from the comforts of heaven to a new world, a world that didn’t recognize his identity. I will only feel settled when I invite Jesus to abide in my heart. I feel secure that I belong to a person not a place. It doesn’t matter where I moved or where I might move next. My identity is found when I remain in Him; not in the past, present or future.

Who am I? I am God’s and he is mine. We dwell together and that tops it all.

This year, as my husband lifts my daughter to top off the fake tree with the angel, I will let it remind me what is real.