Be the first to blink

Choose to initiate in your relationships

Sometimes over-thinking something can plunge me into a mental pity party and, on a hard day, I can spiral down quickly.

It was one of those pity-party days when I realized how quickly my grandchildren were growing up and how much I missed their presence in my life. The summer days of our family-famous “Cousin Camp” when we were all together doing fun activities and crafts, is now a cherished memory tucked away in a photo album.

Now, with four in college and two in high school, their lives seem to be consumed with school, studying, work, social life, exercise, and sports. With a break between semesters, they all have summer jobs and, when they aren’t working, friends get the leftover hours. With two living in Atlanta and four in Gilbert, AZ, it has become a challenge to get all six together in the summer. Good excuse for a pity party.

Oh, I know. I get it. This is a natural progression of growing up and becoming independent. On a good day, I couldn’t be happier and prouder of their busy, productive lives. But this was not one of those days. My pity party was a party of one – and that’s no fun. I missed the laughter, sleeping bags covering the floor, make-shift tents, baking cookies, painting toenails with the girls, picking up scattered flip-flops, and yelling numerous times late at night, “Lights out!”

So, I decided to blink.

In other words, somebody had to make the first move and I wasn’t going to wait for it to be my busy teenagers. I texted (best way to get interaction or a response from any of them), my oldest grandson and said I wanted to take him to lunch when he had a day off from work that week. He was to pick the day, time, and place. Lunch would be my treat and I would come to Gilbert and meet him at the restaurant. BINGO! Three days later we were eating Mexican food across the table from each other and I was catching up with his life and his plans for the next semester at ASU.

My point in this story is that there are times in all our lives when we have to blink and make the first move. It could be something as little as initiating a lunch with one of your children or grandchildren.

Or it could be a big life-changing blink.

Can you recall a time when you should have blinked?

A dear friend hasn’t touched base with you for a long time. You can keep waiting … or you can blink and pick up the phone to call her. 

You and your husband had an argument over a silly thing this morning and you hope the argument will be resolved by the end of the day. Now is a good time to blink and start the conversation.

You misjudged a situation without knowing the circumstances. It’s never too late to blink and say I’m sorry.

There is a broken relationship between you and someone in your extended family and you wonder if the two of you will ever be close again. Now is the time to blink and open the door to restoration and healing.

Your teenager made a wrong choice and walked away from your family. Now is the time to blink and show unconditional love. 

Something happened in your past and you’ve lived with guilt and shame all these years. Now is the time to blink and reach out for help.

I don’t know about you, but God is already using this blog in my own life. Now is the time for you and me to “grab the initiative” and blink.

Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them!†(Luke 6:31, The Message)

From My Heart to Yours,

Susan Miller

Susan Miller
Founder of Just Moved Ministry
Author of After the Boxes Are Unpacked
America’s Moving Coach



  1. Bev on July 14, 2021 at 1:51 pm

    Thank you Susan! I want you to know that your influence is far-reaching ad I too took the first step and copied your Cousin Camp idea. I then wanted to connect one-on-one with them so one year I did “Dates with Grandmata” and the next year “Shopping with Grandmata”. All were a hit. I know this idea is applied to all relationships …but how the years fly by with kids.
    Friends are starting to do this as well…so thank you for your continued influence and ministry as we grow in Jesus.

    • Susan Miller on July 15, 2021 at 11:26 am

      I love the different ways you connect with your grandchildren! Thank you for the influence you are in my life!

  2. Cherry Jackdon on July 11, 2021 at 7:12 am

    Before reading your blog I was having the same pity party. I, too, decided I must just do the initiating. Had lunch with my grandson and even was able to spend all day with a grandaughter-simply because I stepped out.
    Your blog confirmed this is not a personal situation, and I know it will encourage many of us grandmothers who no longer have young grandchildren.

    • Lynne on July 12, 2021 at 9:36 am

      Love your reminder! Those pity parties don’t feel so good , and only we can change our circumstance by listening to Gods whisper!!! Thanks Susan. Blessings

      • Susan Miller on July 15, 2021 at 11:34 am

        Thank you for your wise words..”only we can change our circumstances by listening to God’s whisper!”
        Blessings to you too!

    • Susan Miller on July 15, 2021 at 11:29 am

      Hey Cherry!
      I love that you “simply stepped out!” Works wonders!
      i miss you girl!

  3. SC Jan on July 9, 2021 at 9:42 am

    Love this, Sweet Friend!

    • Susan Miller on July 15, 2021 at 11:31 am

      Hi Jan!
      So delighted you loved the blog! Thanks for commenting!

  4. Helen on July 9, 2021 at 7:16 am

    You always inspire me! I am considering renting an apartment for one year to be closer to my grandkids and get to know them better. They do grow up and we never forget those good times!

    • Susan Miller on July 15, 2021 at 11:36 am

      Thank you for your comment! You go girl…rent that apartment and enjoy those grandkids!

  5. Kelly on July 9, 2021 at 5:38 am

    I truly needed this encouragement today! Thank you.

    • Susan Miller on July 15, 2021 at 11:38 am

      Thank you Kelly, for taking the time to let me know you needed this encouragement! Bless you!

  6. Tish on July 6, 2021 at 7:37 pm

    Wise words my friend..and beautiful! Love and miss you!

    • Susan Miller on July 15, 2021 at 11:40 am

      Hey Tish!
      Thank you for commenting on the blog! I miss you girl, and love you all the more!

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